Antsy

I'm an anxious person by nature.  My mind is always racing with plans and schedules and ideas.

But I've been extra anxious lately.

This time of year makes me anxious. It's when I have to decide if I'm ready to go back to my "real" full time job as a school librarian. I really miss working in the school environment. As a school librarian, I was always busy. I had to run the whole library myself which meant I did everything from ordering books, teaching classes, checking books in and out, shelving books, running book fairs, giving book talks, helping teachers with lesson plans, and on and on.

In public library land where I work now part time, I don't have nearly as much to do. Half of the time I'm working at the reference desk which is very boring. I thought I would be bombarded with difficult scholarly questions, but instead patrons ask how to print, if they can use the phone, borrow a Kleenex, will I go out with them on a date, how do they get into their email, where the bathroom is, or can they have more time on the Internet because they promise they've got an important project to finish (of course it never fails that I look up later and see them playing on Farm Town.)

We deal with homeless people, angry people, drunk people and lots of weirdos (but that's a whole other Blog I guess....) So needless to say, I'm antsy to get back to my nice little secure school library world.

But.

Working part time allows me to be home with Scarlett a lot. My job pays good. Scarlett has never had to go to day care because of it. I enjoy the people I work with. So I've decided to deal with the public at least one more year. It's just not about me right now. Hooray.

I'm also anxious about Scarlett starting an early preschool class in the fall at church. I had to enroll her now to guarantee her a spot so I've got it on the brain. She's going to go 2 days a week from 9-2. It's not a full blown day care facility, just a Mother's Day Out and Preschool, so I'll have to pack her little lunch and get her a nap mat. My niece already attends and love it; she has learned so much. I know Scarlett will really benefit since she's talking so good and learning so quickly and doing fabulous with potty training. She loves to learn and play and sing, and she has so much curiosity and energy that I know this will be good for her. But I also know at first she'll be upset when I leave her since she's not used to that. I just worry it will be too overwhelming for her. I just worry in general. At least we've got some time....

I'm also anxious in a good way for our upcoming move! We've found a house to rent which is getting us out of this THIRD FLOOR apartment. You might remember when we sold our house almost two years ago. Again, we did it for Scarlett, but seriously, enough is enough. Did I mention we live on the third floor? We'll start moving in a few weeks, and I cannot wait. I can't wait for Scarlett to have a backyard and for me and Chris to have a garage and just more room in general. Scarlett can actually push her wagon and ride in her cars on the street instead of around inside. Our new neighborhood has several parks, a pool, and a splash-ground so this summer will be so much fun. Oh, I'm so excited and relieved. Thank you Lord!

And while Scarlett is doing so good with potty training and rarely has accidents while we're at home, I doubt she'll be so willing to adjust to me taking away her paci. My goal was to take it away right before she turned two, but I chickened out. She knows she can't have it during the day, but she sure wants it a night. And she's very volatile at night so I'm afraid to take it away. My firm goal is to take it away some time soon like tomorrow before we move. I know there's lots of tricks and tips, but none of that fluffy stuff will work on her. She's going to be down right pissed off, and I seriously fear her wrath. 

I'm also thinking about changing this Blog some. A lot of people make their blogs private which I've considered, but I really don't want to do. I'm pretty sure only friends and family would want to read this, but you just never know. So instead, I might just change the title again and take off our last name especially since Chris is in school administration now. A crazy parent found our address and knocked on our door the other day so if they can find that, they can probably find this. So you've been fairly warned that things might be changing up again soon!

And now I've gotten all that off my chest, and I feel much better!
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